Must I Write?

my classmate/colleague pat shared this classic book: "Letters to Young Poet" by Rainier Rilke. I have several reasons why I blog. I blog to express. I blog to practice. I blog because I want. And quite recently, I blog because I should. Why to do I write? Why must I write? Several questions bug me. How should I write? Who should I ask? What books to I need to read? What resources do I need? What style should I take? Why am I asking too many questions? Some questions are better left unanswered as some answers come in time. A quote from Rainier Rilke exemplifies this point:

"You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

Must I write? as the title of this entry goes. It's been my dream to work in creatives. Some dreams are fulfilled, and some dreams fulfill you; some dreams we pursue; some dreams pursue us. I'm always an artist at heart. Everything I do should be elevated as an art form. I want to discover and rediscover myself and everything around me. I want to push, and raise my bar higher. Before I reach some standards outside, I want to reach my standards first, and know my limits, and what I can do - and then outperform my standards, break my limits, do more. dont just think. act. potentialities are only half of the story. we need to actualize, do, create, perform, recreate. am i reaching my potential? i do not know. some of it... maybe. most of it... i dont think so. similar to my work, i should have as many ideas or potentialities as possible. discard most of them. keep a few. and defend what i have best. Again, must I write? For a number of reasons (e.g. i like to write, some ideas are better expressed before they rot in your brain, it's good to share things to others, writing is bread and butter), yes. How do I improve myself? Well... may Rainir Rilke's words enlighten you.

"There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your while life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse. Then come close to Nature. Then, as if no one had ever tried before, try to say what you see and feel and love and lose. Don't write love poems; avoid those forms that are too facile and ordinary: they are the hardest to work with, and it takes great, fully ripened power to create something individual where good, even glorious, traditions exist in abundance. So rescue yourself from these general themes and write about what your everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty - describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the Things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember. If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place."

- Rainier Rilke (Letters to Young Poet; Letter One)