Manananggal sa EDSA

Naalala ko sa libro ni Bob Ong na Stainless Longganisa ang kanyang pagkamangha sa mga manananggal at sa digestive system nito. Malaking misteryo sa kanya kung paano dinidigest ng mga manananggal ang mga biktima nito sa kadahilanang ang kanyang mga bituka ay nasa naiwang bahagi ng kanyang katawan. Naalala ko ang manananggal nang makita ang mga pangyayari sa bansa natin ngayon.

Ang Pilipinas ay parang manananggal. Kung hindi mo alam ang manananggal, kawawa ka naman, hindi ko na problema yan. Ang dami na ngang problema ng bansa, wag ka na dumagdag. Balik tayo sa problema ng Pilipinas. Dapat ipinagdiriwang nung sabado ang kaisa-isang EDSA Revolution na hindi na mauulit muli. Kahit anong gaya, iba pa rin ang orig. Parang first love, first kiss, first salary... iba ang ligaya, iba ang epekto. Ngayon, walang dapat ipagdiwang. Magiging hipokrito ako kung hindi ko ipagbubunyi ang paborito kong anunsyo na "Walang Pasok," pero maliban doon at sa masarap na pagkain, walang dapat ikasaya. Problema ang kinahaharap ng gobyerno, marahil sila ang ugat, o sila mismo ang problema, sila na ang nakakaalam, malalaki na sila.

Bakit ko sinabing parang manananggal ang Pilipinas? Sa isang simpleng kadahilanan - ang Pilipinas ay hati. Nakahiwalay ang ulo sa ibabang bahagi ng katawan. Hiwalay ang ulo o mga pinuno at mga nasa kaitaas-taasan sa mga taong nasa ibaba. Hiwalay ang gobyerno, hiwalay ang militar, hiwalay ang simbahan, hiwalay ang karaniwang tao. Hindi mo alam kung sino ang humiwalay pero alam mong may humilay, may nang-iwan, at may naiwan. Habang lumilipad at aktibo ang ulo at "upper torso," nasa baba naman ang "lower limbs" at nakatanga, naghihintay ng muling pagbabalik ni "upper torso."

Bakit iba ang EDSA 1? Dahil ang mga tao dati ay iisa, hindi hiwalay. Marahil hiwalay dahil may oposisyon at ibang loyalista, pero nagkaisa din ang lahat para sa kapayapaan at kaginhawaan ng bansa. Sundalo, politiko, simbahan, mga tao -- nagkaisa at nagsama-sama. Sa madaling salita, for the common good. Ngayon, hindi ko maintindihan ang mga balita. Ano na ang nangyari sa bansa natin?

Kung ihahalintulad sa manananggal, dati ang Pilipinas ay nasa liwanag, isang magandang dalaga na buo ang katawan, kahali-halina sa mga manliligaw aka foreign investors at turista. Pero sa kasamaang palad, sa pagsapit ng dilim, dumating ang mga madidilim na araw ng Pilipinas... nilagyan ng langis ang baywang, at unti-unting nahati ang katawan at lumabas ang maiitim na pakpak. Lumabas ang kasamaan ng mga tao, ng mga Pilipino. Naging masama at pangit manananggal ang dating mahinhin at kaakit-akit na dalagang itago nating sa pangalang Pilipinas. Habang lumilipad ang ulo at itaas na bahagi ng katawan at naghahasik ng lagim sa paligid, ang ibabang bahagi (lower limbs) naman ay binubudburan na ng asin at bawang. Habang ang nasa taas ay lalong tumataas at nagpapakabusog, ang nasa baba naman ay natatapakan, nasasaktan, at iniwan. Kung hindi magsasama ang taas at baba ng manananggal upang magbalik sa anyo ng isang karaniwang tao bago magbukang-liwayway, pareho lang silang masasawi. Habang hiwalay ang mga manananggal, kahit mukhang silang makapangyarihan, talo pa rin sila sa bawang ng kahirapan at asin ng kasakiman, na syang papatay sa kanila. Habang hiwalay ang Pilipinas, walang panalo. Hindi pa huli para sa Pilipinas na mag-volt-in at ilabas ang taglay na kabutihan at kagandahan. Hope things turn out well...

Backup Love

Always remember to backup your files. In one of the episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, they said that we should not bring anything we are not prepared to lose. In most cases, be sure to backup files we are not ready to let go. It hurts to see your files go... all your investments, your time, energy and internet money, going down to waste.

Early this morning, I saw some signs. I was sick, fortunately classes were suspended so i could rest. When i was about to use my phone, it shut down. No message in the inbox was left. Arrgh. Yeah, i copied some messages to a piece of paper, but those were good messages worthy remembering and keeping. But then, I have to let go. Forces of technology and cellphone malfunctions help me to let go. Then when i restarted the phone again, some messages saved from the sim went back. Hmm... not bad after all. Still, goodbye messages. A friend told me, a sign is just a sign.

Then I slept. I dreamt of meeting Zhang Ziyi. We were talking and she still had difficulty talking English, but the conversation went well. Arrgh... a sign is just a sign. I suddenly remembered my 1st crush who looked like her. Signs... nuninuninu... this has nothing to do with my point, i just wanted to share

Then i thought, what if love could be backed up. When love is lost, it hurts so bad. You invest time. You invest effort. You invest some money to execute your plans, to go out, to hang out. You invest love. You invest yourself. All these short and long-term investments - so love would grow, so the relationship would grow, so you'll grow together. Your stock prices will reach each peak. Wait... why am i talking about investments and stocks? Back to backing up. Then, one day, you'll discover everything is gone. You wake up one morning, being slapped in the face by words saying the feeling is gone, love is gone, all those investments gone awry. Goodbye. Ouch. Tsk tsk. Sayang. How you wish love could be backed up, and recover all those lost moments and feelings. How you wish you could install love once again, either to start anew, or bank on the recovered memories and build on the relationship as if nothing happened. Even if the love files are corrupted, how you could wish you could fix them or delete them so as not to affect the whole system of relationship. If the some virus or bugs or worms invaded the relationship, how we wish we could eliminate those pesky intruders who complicated the once blooming relationship. How we wish we could clean up the system to make the relationship running smoothly once again. How we wish we could bring back the memories, the moments, and all those good times.

Unfortunately, we can't bring back something another party considers obsolete. How could we compete with some new system? I think there are really backups, but those concerned parties keep them for safekeeping purposes, not something to bring back, since even if they are unforgettable happy or sad moments, those are the same moments from the person who they got tired of or got bored with. Due to the lack of term, "pinagsawaan na." If these were not the case, then backup would be successful. If this is the case, then it's time to say goodbye and live and let go. Find a new model. Upgrade yourself. Upgrade your love. Canvas, and find upgrades. Always raise the bar higher everytime you move on.

Neil Gaiman on Love

i found one of my old drawings and decided to post it here. And it kinda reminded me of Neil Gaiman's thoughts on love. This is an interesting read.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

- Neil Gaiman in Love

Kahit Sulyap Lang Narda...

Narda by Kamikazee

Tila ibon kung lumipad, sumabay sa hangin ako'y
Napatingin sa dalagang nababalot ng hiwaga.
Mapapansin kaya sa dami ng yong ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat may pag-asa bang makilala ka

Awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling napakikinggan,
Pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta na lang idaraan
Nag-aabang sa langit, sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala, kahit sulyap lang Darna

Ang swerte nga naman ni Ding, lagi ka nyang kapiling
Kung ako sa kanya niligawan na kita
Mapapansin kaya sa dami ng yong ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat may pag asa bang makilala ka

Awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling napakikinggan,
Pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta na lang idadaan
Nag-aabang sa langit, sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala, kahit sulyap lang Darna

Tumalon kaya ako sa bangin, para lang iyong sagipin
Ito ang tanging paraan para mayakap ka
Darating kayasa dami ng ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko sila paano na kaya?

Awit na nananawagan, baka sakaling napakikinggan,
Pag-ibig na palaisipan sa kanta na lang idadaan
Nag-aabang sa langit, sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala, kahit sulyap lang Darna

Nag aabang sa langit, sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala, kahit sulyap lang Darna

______________________________

to those who thinks know me: http://kevan.org/johari?name=yomz

______________________________

illustration: from Mar's Ravelo's Darna (Mango Comics) drawn by Ryan Orosco

p.s.
it would be a good practice for me if i make my own illustrations of my fave songs of the moment. hmm... to draw or to write??? or make a new blog dedicating entirely to writing? hmmm... *puts on thinking cap*

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Repost: Akin ka na lang ulit

Just had the urge to post this again. plus, i really love the picture from the movie Shutter.

Akin Ka Na Lang
by J. Nicolas
from the album Noontime Show
performed by the itchyworms!

Verse 1
'Wag kang maniwala d'yan. 'Di ka n'ya mahal talaga
Sayang lang ang buhay mo kung mapupunta ka lang sa kanya
Iiwanan ka lang n'yan, mag-ingat ka
Dagdag ka lamang sa milyun-milyong babae n'ya

Chorus
Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)
Iingatan ko ang puso mo
Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)
Wala nang hihigit pa sa 'yo

Verse 2
'Di naman ako bolero katulad ng ibang tao
Ang totoo'y pag nandyan ka medyo nabubulol pa nga ako
Malangis lang ang dila n'yan, 'wag kang madala
Dahan-dahan ka lang, baka pati ika'y mabiktima ('Wag naman sana)

Repeat Chorus

Refrain
'Di naman sa sinisiraan ko ang pangit na 'yan
'Wag ka dapat sa'kin magduda, hinding-hindi kita pababayaan!

Repeat Chorus

Akin ka na lang
Liligaya ka sa pag-ibig ko
Akin ka na lang
At wala nang hihigit pa sa 'yo
Wala nang hihigit pa sa 'yo (akin ka na lang)

Falling from a Tree

____________________________________

when i was a little kid,

i fell from a tree.

but i managed to hold on to a branch.

i was up there for a long time and waited.

the silence...
the pain in my arms...
the blood pumping in my ears.

then i fell...

i couldn't remember what happened when i hit the ground.

all i could remember was
the agony of holding on
and
the wonderful feeling of letting go.
______________________________

this msg was forwarded to me by a friend. i kinda liked it.

it's really hard to hang on. i thought i let go, but there's another branch i held into. the tree where i fell from was pretty high i think. the agony is starting to form... my heartbeats seem faster... i dont know when the branch will break, or when will my hands give up... or are there still branches down there. spikes and thorns are all around, but it's part of the challenge.

Pagkakamali

PAGKAKAMALI*
Artist: MOJOFLY
Composer: Kitchie Nadal
Arranger & Producer: Rizal Jose A. Gurango
Executive Producer: Sony Music Philippines

kanina ko pa pinagmamasdan ang nakaraan
wala akong lakas sabihin dahil pagod na akong magisip
sa kasalanang nagawa ko

di mo man maintindihan alam kong nagkamali ako
ba’t di ko maamin ang totoo
ikaw ang pinakamagandang pagkakamali ko

pagbalik mo sasabihin ko pa rin sa iyo
na nag-iisa ka pa rin sa buhay kong ito...

ganito lang ako
habang buhay mag-isa
pinaghandaan ko na dati dati pa

*biggest mistake of 2005. good mistake though, im learning the HAAAAAAAAAARD way... i hope i wont do the same mistake again... what was the mistake anyway?

Hopeful...

Little acts of kindness make me think that there is still hope for our country... for the Philippines. Small acts of goodness make the world go round positively. Good acts which may seem trivial keep me optimistic, make me smile, inspire me to do good too, even if there is no reward.

While riding the FX on my daily commute to school, I saw one guy who was supposed to ride the FX gave up his place for a family to occupy. Quite a good deed, expecting nothing in return. Yes, the guy may be late, but the gentlemanly act however small is really good. Start the day right. Nice to see good things in an evil materialistic world. People using pedestrian lanes, throwing trash on trash bins, cars giving way to another... how i wish everyone could be a little selfless.

p.s.
rainbow photographed while going home from Antipolo. Quite rare to see rainbows nowadays.

Blue heart...

I found this color test in one of our e-groups, and i decided to take it. Then i took the heart or heads test.

What color am i???

Yomz, your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

Heart or head?

I'm a Heart-Strong Idealist.

Yomz, you follow your heart when it comes to success

You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. Sure, there are times when you sit back to hear both sides of an argument. But people had better stay out of the way when your fiery passions take hold.

But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so invested in your ideas and interests that you can work so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!