LJBF

DISCLAIMER: No generalizations are made because generalizing is generally lying. The views and opinions written here do not necessarily reflect the views of the writer and the station.

In a world full of euphemisms (especially the Philippines), people don't say what they mean, or don't mean what they say, or whatever. words fail them. words don't come when they are needed. but sometimes, we Shift + F7 to say more. unfortunately, saying more doesn't mean a lot. less is more. Occam's Razor applies: the simplest explanation is usually the best one.

There are unlimited possibilities to turn down a guy/girl... but usually girls say this to guys, because it's the guy who courts. The most common one would be "Let's Just Be Friends" or LJBF for short. Instead of saying, "I don't like you," girls say other made up phrases or lines compiled from cartoons like... uh Powerpuff girls or Spongebob Squarepants. "I don't want to hurt your feelings" they say. "I don't want to lose our friendship," she says.

Rarely is it translated to Filipino, "kaibigan na lang tayo ha?" Rather in Taglish to have a more friendly and less offensive approach, "friends na lang tayo (+pa-cute googly eyes)." if you want to mock, just say the lines of the old Selecta commercial and ask "Sinong bestfriend mo doon?" so she would answer, "Syempre ikaw lang."

Recently from a series of SMS messages, i got this one: "Can we stay platonic?"
i didn't know where it came from but it was from an anonymous girl i used to like... used to. but i have no plans of going erotic (pardon the word but it is the opposite of platonic - a relationship void of physical desire). FYI: i have a different target market now... the untapped, emerging market. ;)

But what struck me though was the wording and choice of words. as a copywriter, it's nice to hear new ways of saying things. and that question lingers in my mind not because i'm affected but because it sparked my ADHD mind (in tagalog, malikot na utak). it's not a question you hear often. i sense a better command of words... but completely uncalled for. sorry.

Infinite permutations can be derived from usual ways of rejecting. Tip for the girls, harsh is good. Bullshit is bad. Here are a few.

• Basic - Let's just be friends
• Classic - It's not you, it's me
  
• Taglish - Friends na lang tayo
• Paranoid - I don't want to lose our friendship
• Frank - I don't like you
• Impatient - Piss off!
• Vulgar - Utot mo!
  
• Spanish - No me ames
• Shakespearean - Let's abide not by affection (sabay bawi ng guy, "If you prick us, do we not bleed?!?!?")
• Philosophical - Can we stay platonic?
• Starcrossed - Hindi pwede eh
• Clueless - Ay! Naging tayo ba?
• More Clueless - Uh... and what's your name again?
  
• Conyo Haliparot - Umm... I have a new boyfriend na already eh
• Insensitive Haliparot - Uy! Meet my new boyfriend.
• Harsh and Sweet - Can I call you kuya?
  

Yan muna, tinatamad na ako. Feel free to add... :)